How Do I Change The Way I see Myself After My Narcissistic Relationship?
Often narcissistic abuse involves the hijacking of your sense of self, the way you perceive, believe and view yourself. You may notice/have noticed the thoughts you have in your head about yourself are different pre verse post relationship. Or you're still in it and see the changes too.
The goal of the narcissist in the relationship is to find control and power over their partner. This power and control makes them feel powerful and in control. Remember, at the heart of many narcissists and narcissistic type people is an insecure core. They are only able to feel better about themselves when they are perceiving themselves as better than others. So...if you have a strong sense of self, they will dismantle it. Or...if you have an existing insecure core, they will manipulate it.
There are many ways a person leaves a narcissistic relationship. It's not always you leaving, but sometimes you are the one that's left. Regardless if you realized what was going on and found a way out or were discarded, you most likely are left as a shell of a person. A shell of who you once were...
Sound familiar? Well, luckily you don't have to remain this shell of a person forever.
Reclaiming your sense of self is about changing your narrative- the way you see yourself and the way you talk about and to yourself. Let's begin the discussion on how to change your narrative:
1) Identify the thoughts you currently have- are they positive or negative?
2) If positive, continue them to reinforce them. If negative, identify where they came from and why (who are they serving?)
3) Identify how you would like to think and talk about yourself- what does that sound and look like?
4) Create that identity into tangible sentences, as many as you can think of
5) Say those new sentences to yourself everyday
6) Look at yourself in the mirror while saying them, give yourself a hug while saying them, let yourself feel whatever emotions come forward while saying them
7) Keep it up for as long as it takes for the new sense of self to feel true and real
You are deserving of being who you truly want to be and of YOUR OWN creation. No one is allowed to dictate who you are, especially to use it for their own benefit that ultimately hurt you.
I hope this helps you on your way to wellness!
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